.

2008/05/31

Lifestyle changes to help prevent Erectile Dysfunction

Maintain General Health : Because many cases of impotence are due to reduced blood flow from blocked arteries, it is important to maintain the same lifestyle habits as those who face an increased risk for heart disease.

Diet : Everyone should eat a diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and fiber and low in saturated fats and sodium. Because erectile dysfunction is often related to circulation problems, diets that benefit the heart are especially important.

Exercise : A regular exercise program is extremely important. One study reported that older men who ran 40 miles a week boosted their testosterone levels by 25% compared to their inactive peers. Another study found that men who burned 200 calories or more a day in physical activity (which can be achieved by two miles of brisk walking) cut their risk of erectile dysfunction by half compared to men who did not exercise.

Limit Alcohol and Quitting Smoking : Men who drink alcohol should do so in moderation. Quitting smoking is essential.

Stay Sexually Active : Staying sexually active can help prevent impotence. Frequent erections stimulate blood flow to the penis. It may be helpful to note that erections are firmest during deep sleep right before waking up. Autumn is the time of the year when male hormone levels are highest and sexual activity is most frequent.

Kegel Exercises : The Kegel exercise is a simple exercise commonly used by people who have urinary incontinence and by pregnant women. It may also be helpful for men whose erectile dysfunction is caused by impaired blood circulation. The exercises consist of tightening and releasing the pelvic muscle that controls urination

Changing or Reducing Medications : If medications are causing impotence, the patient and physician should discuss alternatives or reduced dosages.

Psychotherapy and Behavioral Therapy Interpersonal, supportive, or behavioral therapy can be of help to a patient during all phases of the decision-making process regarding possible methods of treatment. Therapy may also ease the adjustment period after the initiation or completion of treatment. It is beneficial to have the partner involved in this process. The value of sex therapy is questionable. In one study, 12 out of 20 men whose dysfunction had a psychological basis and who were advised to enter a sex clinic resisted sex therapy out of embarrassment or because they felt it wouldn't help. Of the eight who entered therapy, only one actually achieved satisfactory sex.

The Physical causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Blockage of Blood Vessels The primary cause of oxygen deprivation is ischemia, the blockage of blood vessels. The same conditions that cause blockage in the blood vessels leading to heart problems may also contribute to erectile dysfunction. For example, when cholesterol and other factors are imbalanced, a fatty substance called plaque forms on artery walls. As the plaque builds up, the arterial walls slowly constrict, reducing blood flow. This process, known as arteriosclerosis, is the major contributor to the development of coronary heart disease.

Diabetes may contribute to as many as 40% of impotence cases . Between one third and one half of all diabetic men report some form of sexual difficulty.

High Blood Pressure Erectile dysfunction is more common and more severe in men with hypertension than it is in the general population. Many of the drugs used to treat hypertension are thought to cause impotence as a side effect; in these cases, it is reversible when the drugs are stopped.

Parkinson's Disease As a risk factor for impotence, Parkinson's disease (PD) is an under-appreciated problem. It is estimated that about one-third of men with PD experience impotence.

Multiple Sclerosis affects the central nervous system, also precipitates sexual dysfunction in as many as 78% of males suffering for MS.

Prostate Cancer and its Treatments can damage nerves needed for erectile function.

Radiation the side effects of radiation therapy include most of those of surgery, but the risks for impotence and incontinence are considerably lower.

Medications about a quarter of all cases of impotence can be attributed to medications. Many drugs pose a risk for erectile dysfunction. Among the drugs that are common causes of impotence are the following:

* Drugs used in chemotherapy.
* Many drugs taken for high blood pressure, particularly diuretics and beta blockers.
* Most drugs used for psychological disorders, including anti-anxiety drugs, anti-psychotic drugs, and antidepressants.

Erection

Orgasm. When a man is sexually stimulated by sight, thought, or touch, the brain sends signals that relax the smooth muscles around the arteries that supply blood to the spongy and cavernous bodies. The veins draining the bodies can't keep up, resulting in swelling. As the swelling reaches the limit of the penile skin, the penis becomes firm. The pressure of the spongy and cavernous bodies against the skin partially closes the veins, helping to maintain the erection. Erection continues until the signals from the brain stop, but erections are not consistent; waking and waning are normal, even during intercourse.

Erection can occur throughout life, happening before birth and into the 90's in healthy men. Nocturnal erections occur during all male dreams (regardless of what the dream is about), unless the man has physical problems (this is the easiest way to determine if impotence is physical or emotional in nature). The so called "morning erection" is the result of being wakened during, or just after a dream; and it can be a very persistent erection. While a morning erection is not a sign of arousal, it's presents and the pleasurable sensations it can create may result in arousal.

Men have only very limited control over their erections. During puberty the young man is often embarrassed by erection in public settings, but he gradually becomes able to suppress erections when the stimulation is mild. Likewise, it is impossible to "will" an erection, although sexual thoughts can cause erection. During prolonged foreplay a man's erection may go away; this is normal, and is not a sign of lessening interest.

General health and physical exhaustion can affect erection; when very tired, a man may be able to have only a partial erection, but still be able to climax. Erection is lost in two stages; the initial stage is very quick, but usually leaves the penis firm enough to continue intercourse. The second stage is somewhat slower and is effected by a variety of things including age (which tends to speed it), and arousal level before climax, with higher (or longer) pre-climax arousal generally resulting in slower lose of erection

Although the head (or glands) of the penis is very sensitive to touch, touch alone does not bring about an erection. The epicenter responsible for such essential arousal is actually within the brain. Only after the brain receives visual, audio or mentally stimulating input will it transmit (via the central nervous system) instructions to the smooth muscles along the penis to relax. Specifically the release of nitric oxide in the corpora cavernosa relaxes the smooth muscles. At the same time, the artery to the penis widen to twice its diameter, increasing the blood flow sixteen-fold, and the veins which carry blood away from the penis are blocked. As a result, the two spongy-tissue chambers in the shaft of the penis fill with blood and the penis becomes firm. The corpora cavernosa, acting like a sponge, fill with blood. In fact, the corpora absorb up to eight times more blood than when the penis is flaccid. As your penis swells and lengthens, the filled corpora cavernosa press against the veins. The veins surrounding the chambers are squeezed almost completely shut by this pressure. The veins are unable to drain blood out of the penis and so the penis becomes rigid and erect. This condition normally keeps this erection firm enough for intercourse.

At this most basic level this function is considered to be normal if a man is able to maintain his erection sufficiently long to engage in satisfying intercourse and the subsequent ejaculation. The length of time a man might stay continuously erect can be on the average be about 30 - 45 minutes. Of course the duration of his erection vary greatly, in which case it may be a shorter or a great deal longer. After ejaculation or cessation of further stimulation to the penis itself or to the brain excess blood will be allowed to drain away, while the level of blood flow into the penis returns to normal. The penis once again becomes flaccid as it loses the built up pressure.

Erectile quality or intensity may depend on the nature in which the brain is stimulated. Acts as simple as kissing or "petting" are at times sufficiently arousing to bring about an erection. Viewing a sexually titillating movie or photographs will arouse most men to erection. Beyond this the particular nature of erotic images will have varying effects, as men tend to have a broad range of sexual tastes and desires. While some men may become highly aroused by mundane stimulation, others thrive on fetishes.

The male libido is often receptive to a great variety of stimulation. To consider a man sexually dysfunctional solely by measuring his arousal during intercourse, with a long term partner, is simply too limited as well as illogical. Certainly there are men who are not only fulfilled, but thrive in life-long monogamous relationships. This confirms the notion that there is great variation between the needs and sensibilities among men. It would be a mistake however to insist that all men can achieve the same purpose, blissfully maintaining a long-term relationship, which is both sexually and emotionally satisfying.

What if things aren't quite working that way. There are a number of conditions which may diminish or otherwise influence this process, these are known and considered under one very general catch all term: Erectile Dysfunction, which is technically defined as "the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse". This is one of the most common sexual ailments in men. Although erectile dysfunction can be primarily psychological in origin, for most men it's more likely a physical disorder, often with some psychological overlay. While some men assume that erectile failure is a natural part of the aging process and tolerate it; others find it devastating. Withdrawal from sexual intimacy because of fear of failure can damage relationships and have a profound effect on overall well being for the couple.

The Massachusetts Male Aging Study measured several health related variables in 1290 men aged 40 to 70 years. Erectile dysfunction was very common. Fifty two per cent of the men reported some degree of impotence-mild in 17.1%, moderate in 25.2%, and complete in 9.6%. Complete impotence was reported by 5% of men at 40 years of age and 15% at 70 years of age.

Over the past decades, the medical perspective on the causes of impotence has shifted. Common wisdom used to attribute almost all cases of impotence to psychological factors. Now investigators estimate that between 70% and 80% of impotence cases are caused by medical problems. It is often difficult to determine if the cause of erectile dysfunction is physical or psychological, or even some combination. The following may be helpful in understanding the difference.

* Psychological impotence tends to be abrupt and related to a recent situation. The invidual may be able to have an erection in some circumstances but not in others. The inability to experience or maintain an erection upon waking up in the morning suggests that the problem is physical rather than psychological.
* Physical impotence occurs gradually but continuously over a period of time. If impotence persists over a three-month period and is not due to a stressful event, drug use, alcohol, or medical conditions, the individual may needs to seek medical attention from a urologist specializing in impotence.

In virtually every case of impotence, there are emotional issues that can seriously affect the man's self-esteem and relationships, and may even cause or perpetuate erectile dysfunction. Many men tend to fault themselves for their impotence even if it is clearly caused by physical problems over which they have little control.

Anxiety has both emotional and physical consequences that can affect erectile function. It is among the most frequently cited contributors to psychological impotence. Anxiety over sexual performance is often referred to as performance anxiety and may provoke an intense fear of failure and self-doubt. It can sometimes set off a cycle of chronic impotence. In response to anxiety, the brain releases chemicals known as neurotransmitters that constrict the smooth muscles of the penis and its arteries. This constriction reduces the blood flow into and increases the blood flow out of the penis. Simple stress may even promote the release of brain chemicals that negatively affect potency in a similar way.

Depression is strongly associated with erectile dysfunction. In one study, 82% of men who reported moderate to severe erectile dysfunction also had symptoms of depression. Depression can certainly reduce sexual desire, but it is often not clear which condition came first.

Problems in Relationships often have a direct impact on sexual functioning. Partners of men with erectile dysfunction may feel rejected and resentful, particularly if the affected man does not confide his own anxieties or depression. Both partners commonly experience guilt for what they each perceive as a personal failure. Tension and anger frequently arise between people who are unable to discuss sexual or emotional issues with each other. It can be very difficult for the man to perform sexually when both partners harbor negative feelings.

Socioeconomic Issues like losing a job or having lower income or education increases the risk for impotence.

Smoking (particularly heavy) is frequently cited as a contributory factor in the development of impotence.

Alcohol has also been implicated in causing impotence. In small doses, alcohol releases inhibitions, but in doses larger than one drink, it can depress the central nervous system and impair sexual function.

Lack of Frequent Erections deprive the penis of oxygen-rich blood. Without daily erections, collagen production increases and eventually may form a tough tissue that interferes with blood flow. The spontaneous erection men experience while sleeping or awake may be a natural protection against this process.

2008/05/30

Are Male and Female Orgasms Different?

I doubt you'll be able to answer this question, but my girlfriend and I were arguing about the difference between men's orgasms and women's orgasms, and I wanted to know if there are any proven differences.

There is still so much we don’t know about orgasms, but even as we discover more, this will always be a difficult question to answer. For one thing, if you’re comparing orgasms, what are you comparing exactly: Physical response? Psychological experience? Emotional reactions? Also, how can we compare, or what is your point of comparison? But there is a little research on this, and there is also someone I asked the question of who is in some ways qualified to answer your question.

If you’re defining orgasm as only the physical sexual response, then I guess you could say that male and female orgasms are different because we have different body parts. But even considering those differences, the physiological processes (like increased heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, etc…) are very similar in male and female orgasm.
And when we consider orgasm as a whole experience, there is little reason to suspect that male orgasm and female orgasms are experienced differently. Here are some ways people explain the difference, or lack thereof.

In The Science of Orgasm, authors Barry Komisaruk, Carlos Beyer-Flores, and Beverly Whipple cite two studies that are relevant to this question, although neither provide a concrete answer.

In one study, researchers had male and female college students write out descriptions of their personal experience of orgasm. Then they removed any terminology that would reveal the gender of the person who wrote the description (substituting the word genitalia for the word penis, for example). Finally they had male and female judges try to determine from the written descriptions which ones were men and which were women. They found that people were not able to tell the difference. The authors also cite the research of Kenneth Mah and Irving Binik which suggests that people focus more on how an orgasm feels than where in the body they feel it. Given this it seems less likely that the anatomical differences between men and women would amount to a lot in terms of whether male and female orgasms are experienced as different.

I also turned to a different kind of expert with your question. Buck Angel is a well known adult performer and an outspoken transsexual speaker and activist who was born female and has transitioned to male. I first learned about Buck when he was featured on Sextv (you can see a short video on the Sextv website). Buck talks a lot publicly about his experiences living in the world as a woman and as a man.

Can Men Have Multiple Orgasms?

"I’ve heard that men can have multiple orgasms but don’t really understand how this could work. Once I come there’s nothing I can do but wait until I get hard again. Is this an urban legend, or is it just something some guys can do but others can’t?"

It’s definitely not an urban legend; although male multiple orgasms do sometimes take on something of a mythic quality (take, for example, Sting).

The good news is that men can, do, and have had multiple orgasms for thousands of years. Taoist teachings on sexuality that go back farther than that give explicit instruction for men on how they can experience multiple orgasms. Western sex researchers have also studied this experience in men and found clear physiological evidence that it happens. Also, it seems that many men can learn to have multiple orgasms.

The sort-of bad news? Learning to have multiple orgasms takes a fair bit of time and practice. Also, multiple orgasms means that you are having a series of non-ejaculatory orgasms, so while they aren’t necessarily better or worse, they are definitely different than the kind of orgasms you may be used to experiencing.

The more good news? Learning to have multiple orgasms means you will also be learning to control ejaculation, and you will learn a lot about your own sexual response, which is great news regardless of the final outcome.

2008/05/19

The World of The Female Orgasm!

The female body is a complex work of art – beautiful to look at, but difficult to figure out… especially when it comes to orgasm.

Many men find it difficult to understand the female sexual response cycle simply because it differs so much from their own.

Here is a brief overview of what happens during a female orgasm:
1. Stimulation of clitoris
2. Tension build-up is caused within pelvis
3. Tension is finally released and orgasm is experienced
4. Series of involuntary (yet pleasurable) muscle contractions sweep through body
5. Contractions are felt in the vagina, uterus, and/or rectum

Unlike with the male orgasm, women have the ability to feel many different types of climaxes. These climaxes are dependent on the types of stimuli used, and whether the orgasm is clitoral or vaginal.

So, before you start poking and prodding in all the wrong places, learn all there is to know about the female orgasm – how it happens, and most importantly, how to make it happen.

This site will answer every question you’ve ever had about the female orgasm, but were too afraid to ask – from positions to toys, from G-Spots to multiple orgasms…

You’ll surely impress her with “sexpertise” the next time you’re in the bedroom.

What is The Female Orgasm?

Orgasm. The male and female orgasms are very similar subjectively. When women and men are asked to described the sensations they feel during arousal and orgasm but excluding gender-specific anatomical terms, the descriptions are remarkably similar, and involve feelings of inevitability when the orgasm is imminent. Of course there are anatomical differences and women have the general advantage that most can have (or be educated to have) multiple orgasms. Also, a good proportion of women can experience a very prolonged orgasm called a 'status orgasmus' which, as far as I know, no man can. These can last many seconds and must be fun :-). Also, many women are capable of imagining themselves all the way to orgasm though no doubt this may involve a lot of muscle tensing and cannot really be described as being without physical stimulus ­ rather no fingers are involved. Women also tend to have more orgasms in their sleep than men who usually only do this during teenage years, and several, mainly anti-depressant, drugs (e.g. Prozac, Zoloft, Wellbutrin) are known to cause spontaneous orgasms in women though they do not affect men the same way - in these cases the orgasm can even sometimes be brought on voluntarily by yawning!

Pain thresholds increase during arousal (e.g. during masturbation) and reach their maximum during orgasm. It is likely that cerebral endorphins may be involved. Electroencephalography has shown which regions of the brain and brain stem are involved in orgasm, though most of the mechanisms of the physiological rather than psychological processes are in the spinal cord and paraplegics can be stimulated to have orgasm.

The standard textbook description of female excitation and orgasm goes like this: A prolonged period of arousal, a plateau, orgasm proper and resolution. The same phases can be identified in men. Major studies which are still often quoted are those of Kimsey and of Masters and Johnson who tackled the sensitive topic of female sexuality in what was effectively the dark ages of the post-war 20th century.

Arousal
In the excitement phase, often induced by thought alone, involves the following set of processes:

The nipples typically become erect and the clitoris also becomes turgid and it expands a little (though not much), and this may result in it becoming a bit more visible in some women with medium to large ones. Clitoral erection, more properly called tumescence, is due to increased arterial blood flow to the clitoris and reduced venous drainage and so is essentially identical to the process of penile erection but the degree of expansion is much less and involves little change in length, though the change in thickness and turgidity of the long clitoral shaft is very easily appreciated. Increasing heart rate and blood pressure, and increasing genital blood flow also result in gradual expansion of the inner and outer labia and vaginal lubrication. Vaginal lubrication results mostly from a process called transudation ­ that is, the increased blood flow (vasocongestion) of the vaginal wall causes blood and lymphatic fluids to be forced through the tissue into the vagina where it appears as a lot of tiny sweat-like drops on the vaginal walls. Additional vaginal lubrication comes from the cervix which is well-supplied with mucous glands. The amount and thickness of a woman's vaginal lubrication may well depend on her stage in the menstrual cycle primarily because of the changes in the cervical mucus.

There is also lubrication of the inner lips resulting from glandular secretions from the mucous membranes and possibly from the Skene's glands (paraurethral glands) that open at two small, sometimes quite visible, pores, one on either side of the urethral opening (at 5 and 7 o'clock if the genitals are arranged with clitoris at 12 o'clock).

As the arousal continues, the swelling of the labia causes the inner lips to part and spread outwards ­ thus making the opening of the vagina more obvious. The increased blood flow causes the woman's genitals to change colour, from flesh tones to at least pinkish, but in women who have had children (it isn't clear if pregnancy alone causes this or childbirth is important) the colour change can be more extreme and her genitals can become almost a deep wine red.

The colour of the vaginal walls also changes in the same way, and internally the vaginal cavity expands and the inner two thirds can form a rather large space; evolutionarily this is probably to produce a cavity in which sperm will be kept in close proximity to the cervix and not simply run out after the male has shed his load. On the other hand, the outer third of the vagina (the introitus) becomes tighter due to the increased blood flow to the region (reported as a corpus spongiosum ­ i.e. similar tissue to that in the penis and clitoris). Internally the positions of the uterus moves causing the vagina to elongate, and the position of the cervix changes ­ collectively these changes in the internal vaginal arrangement are often referred to as "tenting".

Late in the excitement phase the breasts are reported to swell, though it is hard to find detailed measurements.

Plateau
The plateau is the final phase of excitement when basically all excitement parameters are at max and she is waiting to get herself over the edge, usually focusing her thoughts very much on her genitals or other arousing things. At this time spontaneous contractions of the anal sphincter, and muscles in the upper legs and pelvic region are common, and increased semi-involuntary movements of the hips usually indicates the imminence of orgasm.

Orgasm
The orgasm is a pulsatile event with strong feelings of pleasure centred around the genitala and a demanding pushing feeling. In women this is usually indicated visibly by a series of contractions in the vaginal-anal area which occur at about once every 0.8 seconds approx. and by a "sex flush" which is a rapid change in skin colour of the chest (breasts and area between them up to the neck and face) resulting from an increase in cutaneous blood flow. The rate of perineal contractions may vary from woman to woman, and certainly not all contractions in an orgasmic series are evenly spaced, the first usually being relatively long. Internally, a lot more is going on, and videos of the inside of the vagina during orgasm show the cervix is very active and with each contraction it pushes down and "drinks" up semen from the puddle that would be there after a normal copulation ­ so evolutionarily it only makes sense for the woman to come after the man has and only to do so if she wants to get pregnant by him! There are also waves of contractions of the uterus which are stimulated by the orgasmic surge in the hormone oxytosin. During orgasm the woman's blood pressure and heart rate increase considerably and she often does staccato breathing and may vocalise though this may be both voluntary and involuntary depending on the individual. Some hold their breath. Many also show spastic contractions of muscles in the hands and feet causing curling of toes (carpopedal spasms).

Much of the literature about female orgasm reports that during orgasm the clitoris retracts under the clitoral hood. This obviously comes from the studies of Kinsey and others. However, none of the hundreds of videos of real orgasm shown here is this visible. Also, given that the clitoris is composed of spongiform tissue without skeletal muscle, it is hard to see how this could be achieved mechanically as it certainly does not detumesce during orgasm.

The Bartholin's glands (greater vestibular glands) which open just outside the vaginal opening produce a small amount of mucus (just a few drops) and this seems to be secreted just before orgasm. It may be involved in making the chemistry of the vagina less hostile to sperm.

Resolution
After orgasm many women cannot bear continued direct stimulation of the clitoris and/or vulva (and even the breasts in some) and so pass into a resolution phase, but if the stimulation is maintained at a low level until the sensitivity subsides, avoiding direct clitoral contact, quite a lot of women can have a second or even numerous extra orgasms after the first one, separated by a minute or so. After a few orgasms it seems that clitoral sensitivity subsides and continued stimulation is possible. Possibly multi-orgasmicity is not universal in women, though it is likely that the painful, postorgasmic sensitivity of the clitoris puts many off trying. In men it is possible but is exceedingly rare.

In early resolution there may be one or more infrequent contractions of the perineal muscles and anal sphincter that feel pleasurable (often referred top as aftershocks), but basically this is a time when the swelling of the breast and genitals slowly subsides over a period of many minutes (often about 20 mins). Failure to reach orgasm after reaching plateau can be very uncomfortable for some women because there has been no trigger to start the vascular decongestion of the genitals.

Female Ejaculation
Female ejaculation is still a much debated phenomenon. There is no doubt that many women produce, and may forcibly expel in squirts, small to copious amounts of a clear fluid from their urethral opening during high levels of excitement or orgasm. Sometimes this seems very similar to urine but typically is less yellow and there are several scientific papers that claim it contains enzymes not found in urine but present in male semen (phosphatases formed in men in the prostate gland that is responsible for the bulk of male semen volume). Surprisingly there is considerable lack of agreement about whether these secretions can come from supposed peri-urethral reservoirs. Most likely there is a mixture of urine (especially in women who produce 10s of mls of ejaculate, and some urethral products.

Viagra and other similar drugs that activate the nitrous oxide neurotransmission system which seems to be particularly associated with the genital area, can have very similar effects in men and women. In men they can produce (with appropriate mental stimulus usually) erection. In women they cause (often spectacular) genital swelling and lubrication.

The "orgasm nerve" is only known in women and was discovered accidentally during a conscious spinal operation. Stimulating it causes an instant orgasm. No such nerve has been found in men, though interestingly, paraplegic men can have orgasms and ejaculate either by extreme penile stimulation or intense electrostimulation of the prostate region (via the rectum) though in this case the subject has to be under general anaesthetic as the stimulation levels would otherwise be agonising.

Female Sexual Arousal & Orgasm

Orgasm. Female sexual arousal and orgasm is a complex process involving the entire woman, mind and body. The human mind receives in sexual stimuli from the body, processes it, and based on past learning and experience causes the body to respond to it. The brain may start the sexual arousal process in response to thought (sexual fantasy), visual stimuli (seeing a partner nude), audible stimulation (hearing a partner's voice), olfactory stimuli (the smell of a partner's body), and taste (the taste of a partner's body). The body may start the arousal process as the result of a woman, or her partner, touching her genitals or breasts, the feel of air flowing across her exposed skin, or her cloths stimulating her breasts or genitals. The mind and body while able to experience sexual arousal separately, cannot experience orgasm separately. Orgasm requires both the mind and body to work together. Mental thought alone may result in orgasm, but you still feel the orgasm in your body. All the sexual stimulation and arousal may originate in one or the other, but orgasm takes place in both.

At birth we respond to sexual stimulation based solely on instinct. If we feel safe and our basic material needs are met, we will most likely respond to sexual stimuli very easily. This is perhaps why the simple acts of nursing and exposing the genitals to air results in sexual arousal in infants. At birth we are very sensitive to sexual stimuli, and our minds have not learned "appropriate" sexual response yet. As a result, at birth, orgasm is probably controlled more by physical stimuli than mental thought processes. Orgasm is a simple physical reflex response at birth.

By the time puberty rolls around we have already been taught "appropriate" sexual response. We perhaps know that any sexual response is bad. We may have been so isolated from our physical sexual self's that we are not even aware of it when we are sexual aroused. This is more true of girls than boys, as boys experience a tell tale erection. We know what "good girls" and "bad girls" are. We know who a suitable mate is, even if we cannot think of them in sexual terms. Teenage girls, and adult women, may not permit themselves to be in situations that result in them feeling sexual, if they categorize those feeling as bad. They may perceive sexual arousal as "being in love." They may tune out any sexual feelings, denying they occur, or they may respond so negatively to sexual stimuli that sex itself is impossible.

Some women do not have many negative feelings toward sex and are openly sexual. They enjoy being aroused and seek out sexual stimuli freely. They do not care who or what causes them to feel aroused, they just enjoy it. Of course society views these "sexual girls" and "sexual women" negatively and labels them "sluts" and "whores." In our confused society, the girl who shuns all sexual feelings is considered more "normal" than a woman who is openly sexual. This is less true than it was twenty years ago, but still very much true.

Orgasm may be more of a mental perception than a physical experience for women, more so than it is for men, as the result of the greater sexual restrictions placed on women. A man's ability to achieve an erection and ejaculate is a symbol of his manhood, a woman's sexual arousal and sexual enjoyment may be seen as "out of control" and "wanton." This is perhaps why women are often times less orgasmic than men as one has to speculate that both are equally orgasmic at birth.

Orgasm Denial

Orgasm News. If I think in the " vanilla " way, I will believe ( like most people do ) that My mate must be sexually satisfied in order to always be faithful to Me. History has repeatedly proven to us that this is absolutely wrong. Men cheat all the time on women,divorces keep destroying families and thousands of Women are miserable. It took Me time to realize that in order to keep My sub in line, I must have him sexually controlled and denied.

It is a rule for Me and many other Women that : a denied man, is an obedient man. A man who is sexually satisfied, loses interest of his Wife.The reason is both mental and physical.That's men's nature.After they ejaculate, they lose interest of everything for hours,perhaps for days. But a man who is denied,and aroused, he keeps having in his mind how to satisfy his Wife and he becomes an obedient and happy man.Thus, the man does everything it takes to satisfy and make his Wife happy, in order to gain her grace and return to him this grace by allowing him an orgasm.

This - in My and many other Women's opinion - is one of the most basic aspects of the D/s lifestyle.

The orgasm denial issue captured My mind from the very beggining that i found out it's existence.

As we all know, both in the couple must agree in order to move on with the D/s. So, Me and My sub agreed that I'm in charge and I'm the one who controls his orgasm as well as his life in general. I had to experiment with that and I assure you that it wasn't easy.Things are tough especially when you are deeply in love.I couldn't keep him denied for long periods.I used to retreat and finally allowed him ejaculation because I thought that by doing this we would both be satisfied. But that was a lie.After the sexual satisfaction he would forgot everything that had to do with the D/s.That made Me feel inadequate,disappointed and finally out of the D/s.

What's for sure is that the Woman is the one that pulls the strings.Since I realized that I was the one in charge, everything changed.I made the decisions and he obeyed.I would order what was to be done and what was not to be done and he had to abide by the rules.The key to the success is for all Women to have faith in themselves and high self- estim and for all men to respect and trust Women.

I keep My sub denied for long periods. Not as long as he should be, but long enough to be reminded of his position and I think that he is courageous enough to remain denied without a chastity device on.In the beggining of our D/s, he was absolutely disobedient and used to masturbate himself frequently.Finally, he realized that a real submissive should never touch his penis.In order to make the denial issue easier for him and for me, I asked him to order a chastity device.

We have ordered various devices but they were not secure enough so, I told him that he should get a piercing that would enable him to wear a completely secure device.He got a P.A piercing and now we are expecting one of MsLori's device, the #15 spiral device.However, he obeys Me and accepts the days of denial that I appoint to him.I usually deny him for 16 days unless he misbehaves so I increase the days.

I refuse to give him the pleasure of an orgasm.I prefer to " milk " him.Besides, what matters is his health stability and not his pleasure in any way.We both know that sex is for My pleasure only.

The fascinating thing here is that, he is so willing to sexually satisfy Me, that he has turned his tongue to the most skilful organ of his body.he performs oral sex to Me twice a day to say the least.

" Prostate Milking " is another issue which i will refer to later on.It is absolutely necessary for his prostate gland's health.
I think that, now that I'm so fanatically used to deny my sub, I will finally forbid his orgasms for good.

I also think that the evolution of such a denial will finally lead Me to the desicion of having him permanently locked in his chastity.
This is the best way in order to keep him totally consentrated on Me.
Everything has been finalized in My mind after all the internal struggles and inhibitions I had when we first got into the D/s. I was so cautious for various things but now I'm more positive and determined than ever.
Yes, My sub must be denied , he must not get the pleasure of an orgasm and his responsibility among others is to make sure that I get as many orgasms as I like.
After all, sex is for Women's pleasure.

2008/05/15

What's The Difference Between Clitoral and Vaginal Orgasms?

The difference between a "clitoral" and a "vaginal" orgasm is where you are being stimulated to achieve orgasm, not where you feel the orgasm. This may clear up some of the confusion around this common question. The clitoris has a central role in elevating feelings of sexual tension. During sexual excitement, the clitoris swells and changes position. The blood vessels through the whole pelvic area also swell, causing engorgement and creating a feeling a fullness and sexual sensitivity. Your inner vaginal lips swell and change shape. Your vagina balloons upward, and your uterus shifts position in your pelvis.

For some women, the outer third of their vagina and the cervix are also very sensitive or even more sensitive than the clitoris. When stimulated during intercourse or other vaginal penetration, these women do have intense orgasms. This would be what is referred to as a vaginal orgasm -- without clitoral stimulation. (Sigmund Freud made a pronouncement that the "mature" woman has orgasms only when her vagina, but not her clitoris, is stimulated). This of course, made the man's penis central to a woman's sexual satisfaction. Many sexual health experts still disagree about any actual female ejaculation, although you will find plenty of web sites that will want to teach you how to do this for a fee, here you can check it out for free. For more on the often misunderstood G-Spot, see that page.

In reality, orgasms are a very individual experience and there is no one correct pattern of sexual response. Whatever feels wonderful to you, makes you feel alive and happy, AND connected with your partner is what matters. Enjoy!

Endorphins

Orgasms cause a release of endorphins into one's spinal fluid. Endorphins are also somewhat responsible for the emotion of happiness, pleasure, calming effect and so on.

The Endorphin Mystery
Many researchers believe that strenuous exercise releases endorphins into the blood stream. Others agree that endorphins are released during orgasm, as well as during laughter. Endorphins are a group of substances formed within the body that naturally relieve pain. They have a similar chemical structure to morphine. In addition to their analgesic affect, endorphins are thought to be involved in controlling the body's response to stress, regulating contractions of the intestinal wall, and determining mood.

It also seems that endorphin stimulation may occur with frequent sex and masturbation. These are the belief of many researchers, we are just providing you with the information, you decide if you want to impress the biology class with this knowledge, or whomever.

There is no evidence that too much sex (or exercise or laughter, for that matter) and consequential elevated levels of endorphins have any kind of endorphin depletion effect -- that is depletion of bodily endorphins, which could lead to depression. It is believed that endorphins are "recycled" by the body as are other brain chemicals. There currently is research being done to evaluate the full range of endorphins' functions in the body, especially how they relate to the prevention of illness and their beneficial affects in cancer and depressed patients.

What is an Orgasm in Females and Why All The Mystery?

What is an orgasm? An orgasm is an emotional and physical experience that occurs during a “sexual response cycle”. Before an orgasm, your body becomes increasingly excited. Breathing, heart rate and blood pressure increases. The pupils of the eyes dilate; the lips of the mouth darken, the nipples become erect, the clitoris swells, becomes hard and exposed, (much like the aroused penis). With increased excitement, the skin becomes flushed and it begins to sweat.

In women, the labia, clitoris, vagina and pelvic organs enlarge in very much the same way as the aroused penis enlarges. Sometimes there is a plateau of excitement which is held for several minutes before you are about to orgasm.

Orgasm is the point at which all the tension is suddenly released in a series of involuntary and pleasurable muscular contractions that may be felt in the vagina and/or uterus (some women do experience orgasms without contractions).

The orgasm happens when excitement seems to go over the edge -- a climax or crescendo is reached which may last several seconds or longer. During orgasm the body stiffens and the muscles contract. Involuntary muscle contractions and spasms may occur in various parts of the body, including your legs, stomach, arms, and back. The muscles of the vagina relax and contract rapidly, as do the muscles of the uterus. The glands of the vagina (Bartholin's glands) discharge a watery secretion, which acts to lubricate the vagina.

The main physical changes that occur during a sexual experience are a result of vasocongestion. This is the accumulation of blood in various parts of the body. Muscular tension increases and other changes occur throughout your body also.

Multiple Orgasm in Women
It’s no secret that many women have multiple orgasms. Masters and Johnson documented this occurrence more than 25 years ago. But, do they serve a purpose besides from a pleasurable one? Theories suggest that muscular contractions associated with orgasms pull sperm from the vagina to the cervix, where it's in better position to reach the egg. Researchers believe that if a woman climaxes up until 45 minutes after her lover ejaculates, she will retain significantly more sperm than she does after non-orgasmic sex.